Pentimento

"Old paint on a canvas, as it ages, sometimes becomes transparent. When that happens, it is possible, in some pictures, to see the original lines: a tree will show through a woman's dress, a child makes way for a dog, a large boat is no longer in an open see. That is called pentimento because the painter "repented", changed his mind. Perhaps it would be as well to say that the old conception, replaced by a later choice, is a way of seeing and then seeing again." Lillian Hellman


As parents, we are often faced with the challenge of finding the child or person we seem to have lost. This most often presents itself with adolescents. We know we have instilled in our children the values, habits and behaviors crucial to leading happy and successful lives. Yet, somehow, our kids sometimes seem to have lost their way or have been misguided and engage in behaviors contrary to their well-being. It can be frustrating to call their attention to these often harmful behaviors.


The concept of Pentimento may be helpful for us to undersatnd that what we have taught them is still there. It may not always be obvious and it may not seem important to them, but it is there! As adolescents become adults, the outer layers that have been built up by their peers and other influences will peel away and reveal the person we know is in there. Our task is to help keep them safe and continue to teach and hold them accountable while they explore who they are. They will come back to you with not only the masterpiece you have helped create, but also vibrant colors and new strokes that will make you proud.